11 years and worth it 


Every one is always surprised when we say, we have an 11 year old and a newborn. Heck, it’s quite amusing to us too.  

Some people like to wait a couple years in between children. We waited 11. Not by choice, but it was definitely in Gods plan all along.  

Sure I would have loved for Caleb to grow up with a brother or sister. There were so many times that I would send him outside to play and 10 minutes later he’d come in and say it’s boring to play by myself. No one to share with, fight with, explore with.  

Here we are 11 years later and I don’t think it could be anymore perfect. Caleb is thrilled about his baby brother. Every day he comes home from school, goes straight to the sink to wash off all the school germs then comes to his brother to give him a dap and a kiss. He ask to hold him, feed him, burp him. If I could only get him to change diapers this would be the life! Caleb wants to be the one to carry the diaper bag, push the stroller, anything to be right by brothers side.  

We are so incredibly blessed to have 2 such amazing boys, 11 years apart. Gods timing was perfect.  

xoxo 

Jonathan


Spring break is over for most people. And while some people may have taken their kids to some amazing vacation getaway or perhaps a staycation which both sound lovely, Caleb went to stay with his grandparents in San Angelo. If you’ve never heard of San Angelo, I’ll let your imagination run wild. I love this town but others beg to differ.  

Anyways, with having a newborn and still trying to figure out our lives A.B. (after-baby) as much as I wanted to hang out with Caleb I knew we’d be no fun. Plus it’s hard to say no to my parents.  

My parents are missionaries and travel to Mexico what seems like every other week to work at a local church and orphanage. They’ve been doing this as long as I can remember. Growing up it was hard for me to understand their dedication. As an adult it frustrated me when things would be pushed to the back burner for missions. As kids of course we had to go with them to work. But once we grew up and had the option, we definitely opted out. Missions was not my calling. After all, I enjoyed my air conditioning and running water toilets. As shallow as that may sound.

My parents always encouraged us to go with them during their larger outreaches throughout the year but I never found the time or to be honest, I just never wanted to. But this spring break, Caleb went with them for 3 days to Mexico. And let me just add that they go to a border town in Mexico. And border towns are not exactly safe right now so naturally I had my reservations.  

When Caleb came back, I loved hearing his stories of what they did while at the orphanage. How he helped my dad with construction and cleaning. How they did arts & crafts with the kids and helped prepare the meals for everyone. But when he began to tell me about the stories of the children he met, my heart broke.  

Caleb began to tell me of a 5 year old boy that he met named Jonathan. Jonathan and his 4 brothers and sisters were abandoned by their parents. For quite some time they were left in their home to take care of themselves. Jonathan being the oldest had to feed and change his siblings. Then one evening the broiler caught fire and Jonathan had to gather all of his brothers and sisters and take them out of the house to safety. When people from the orphanage arrived, the children were filthy and had soiled diapers as they had ran out of their diaper supply, they were eating spoiled food because they had been left alone for so long the food began to rot.  

I couldn’t believe what Caleb was telling me. I tried to convince him that the 5 year old must have been the youngest child. That there was no way he was changing diapers and carrying his 1 year old brother/sister out of the burning home. I called my mom and she confirmed his story. When I hung up the phone with my mom, I cried. My heart breaks for Jonathan, his brothers and sisters. My heart breaks for all of the children in this world that have been abandoned, abused, broken hearted, left to fend for themselves.  

I held onto my babies for just a little bit longer this evening. Grateful that God has trusted us with their lives. But I also thanked God because He is a good, good father. There are so many children out there in this world with similar stories, abandoned by their parents. My prayer is that they would one day realize that God has never left them, never abandoned them, He loves them & cares for them. They are precious in His sight. They are righteous, sons and daughters of the Most High.  

I encourage you to say a prayer tonight for orphanages all over the world tonight. Say a prayer not only for the children that are there but also for the workers and volunteers of the orphanages. Say a prayer for the children that are at home by themselves because their parents have neglected them. And hug your babies a little longer tonight. 
xoxo

One life

“Don’t save something for a special occasion. Every day of your life is a special occasion.” – Thomas S. Monson


When I had Caleb, eleven years ago, I was 22. At the time, my relationship with Courtney was not a healthy one, I was trying to finish school, working 2 jobs and life just got away from me.  

I took tons of pictures of my cute little boy but I didn’t jot things down or implant milestones in my memory. I have a horrible memory as it is so writing things down could have be helpful.  

I try to be intentional with my time but to be honest, I let life’s busyness get the best of me. Working a full time job, then baking in the evening, housework or meetings. There are so many evenings where Caleb fends for himself or sits in front of the television all evening. Trust me, I’m embarrassed to admit all of this.  

But I write this because over the past month the saying “life is too short” has taken on a new meaning for me. When we were told that Xander could suffer from this and from that, I was so scared for him to come into this world. And what would raising him be like. What would he be like. But this month, this child could not be more perfect.  

I wake up (every 3 hours at night) so grateful for each minute that I have with him. So grateful for every day that passes by that we can prove to the doctors they had it wrong and that God is greater than any diagnosis.  

My prayer from this moment forward is that I would live each day to its absolute fullest. That I would imbed each milestone in my heart. That I would celebrate all of their accomplishments both big and small. That my children would experience all that life has to offer them. That they would explore their dreams and passions. That they would embrace all of the experiences that come their way. And through it all, they would keep God in the center of their lives.  

“Don’t save something for a special occasion.  Every day of your life is a special occasion.” – Thomas S. Monson

Live my friends ❤

xoxo

A life changing month


It’s 3am and baby is sleeping. I should be asleep as we are driving back home in about 2 hours. But all I want to do is just stare at this precious gift.

It’s been one whole month since our life has changed.  Xander is a week old here but I’ll update the picture when it’s not 3am.  

I obviously love Caleb. He was my firstborn. I sit back and still can’t believe how big he is. How grown up he is. He is such an amazing kid. So well behaved, good manners, great attitude, smart, soft hearted…I mean we couldn’t have been more blessed with him. But then came Xander. I didn’t think my heart could love like this again. But God makes a way.  

As I stare at this sweet boy, I cry with tears of joy and gratitude. I cannot thank God enough for bringing him to us. Of all people God could have chosen, He chose us.  

“Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭139:13-16‬ ‭MSG‬‬

From every, “No you can’t get pregnant” to “agenesis of the corpus callosum” nonsense God’s hand was over this child. Bit by bit God created him, perfectly and wonderfully made.  

Every time I hold this child, I am reminded of Gods goodness, of His faithfulness, of His love. He is such a good, good father. We are so underserving of such a miracle.  

What an incredible month it has been. I cannot wait to see what else God has in store for my two sweet boys.  

Happy one month sweet Xander!
xoxo

“Don’t reason away your faith.”


I love this quote by Christine Cane. I needed to be reminded of this this week, yes I know today is only Tuesday but it’s been one of those weeks already.

There are many days when I question what I’m doing. Or what God has planned for my life. It may be one of my bad mom moments and I began to think, am I really cut out for this? Or why on earth did you trust me enough with these beautiful babies? 

I love reminding myself of 2 Corinthians 5:7: Walk by faith not by sight.  

The message versions says 
“That’s why we live with such good cheer. You won’t see us drooping our heads or dragging our feet! Cramped conditions here don’t get us down. They only remind us of the spacious living conditions ahead. It’s what we trust in but don’t yet see that keeps us going. Do you suppose a few ruts in the road or rocks in the path are going to stop us? When the time comes, we’ll be plenty ready to exchange exile for homecoming.” ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5:6-8‬ ‭MSG‬‬

 
There are many days where I come across a few ruts or several. But I am so thankful that my future, who I am as a woman, friend, wife and mother is not determined by my circumstances or past failures. He has equipped me with everything that I could ever possibly need.  
There is no need to question yourself or God for that matter. There is no reason to rehash or go through the what ifs and what nots in life.  All it does is lead you down a road of frustration, anger, depression and discouragement. Put all of your fear, anxiety, frustration in Him.  Trust that the creator of the entire universe, knows what He is doing.  

Don’t reason away your faith today.  
xoxo